She didn’t get to be the editor of one of the UK’s leading online women’s lifestyle magazines by resting on her laurels her meteoric rise is well documented in the industry with both green-eyed envy and huge respect. I’m disappearing under tiny, invisible kitchen weights, and Ali has noticed my diminishment because Ali notices everything. I was, I am, determined not to be someone who makes a big drama out of it, but with every passing day it’s as if someone adds an extra weight onto my shoulders-one of those mini cast-iron ones you see in old-fashioned kitchen scales. Thirty felt like just another year until I was twenty-nine and three-quarters, but now that my landmark birthday is a few weeks away, I’ve started to experience all kinds of unexpected and unwelcome anxieties. I stumble as I say my age the number sticks like glue in my mouth. It’s altogether different for an almost thirty-year-old dating columnist to claim she’s doing it too.” “It’s one thing for an A-lister to declare she’s ‘self-coupling’ for an interview in Vogue, Ali. “Look.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, choosing my words carefully. “It’s not legally binding,” she says, as if that makes it better. She’s asked me to do some fairly out-there things over the years, but this one tops the lot. You genuinely want to send me to a remote island to marry myself?”Ī warm flush creeps up my neck as I sit across the desk from Ali, my terrifyingly enigmatic boss at Women Today.
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